Purpose ~ Destiny...

I recently received an email from the Women of Faith Blog that I signed up for. The writer on this particular day was Luci Swindoll who I have heard speak many times at Women of Faith conferences. Actually, it was an excerpt from a book she wrote in 2008. You can read it here, if you like.

Following the comments made by Luci, a question was posed for the readers with a place to link up your thoughts. I thought I would join in. So, here goes.


Question:

Do you have a sense of destiny? How does that affect your daily life?

My answer:

I do have a sense of destiny. Yet, to me, it seems to be on hold or unfulfilled. Many years ago, I would have said that my destiny or purpose in life was to be a mother. This is not necessarily so, anymore. Now, I want to say that my destiny or purpose is to help others because of my experiences. Yet, that does not seem right either. I think that the only destiny I could possibly have is to be a child of God in pursuit of His image, to be holy as He is holy, and to love others as He has commanded.

Yes, that is it. To love God and to love others.''

How does it affect my daily life?

The old me would have said that it doesn't. I just go about my daily routine, waiting for the fulfillment of my destiny to happen. Or... it consumes me. I spend every waking moment trying to force it to happen. Neither is the way it is supposed to be, though. He has given me this life and He desires for it to be abundant. Not stagnant, and not frantic. He desires for me to fulfill His plan, His purpose, His destiny for me in His way and in His time.

So, onward I will go, and I will see the fulfillment of my destiny as I go... in every single moment of every single day. In every single interaction. It will not be perfect because I am not perfect. But, it will be beautiful because He is in it with me.

Embracing His Joy, Hope, & Peace...

Is this how God feels?

Waiting is an interesting and challenging experience like none other. Some people I know have likened it to character building. Well, I guess I must have a lot of character to build because God has seen fit to allow us to wait for this long. I can't say that I enjoy it, but I am grateful for the things God has taught me through it.

Several times, I have experienced a thought or emotion and wondered... Is this how God feels?

This past Friday was one of those times.

***Disclaimer***
What I am about to share is not a complaint. It is merely an observation. A comparison, if you will...


On Friday, we were having a friend and her daughter over for dinner. Actually, a different friend and daughter than originally planned because the first one had a really bad migraine. Anywho.

D.T. was cooking lasagna (YUM!) and I ran out real quick to get milk at the store down the street. On the way home, I was sitting at the red light and checking my email on my iPhone... no, I do not text and drive, but I was SITTING, so I looked.

Now, I can tell myself over and over that I am over this whole adoption thing, that I am trusting God, or that I don't really care anymore, but the truth of the matter is... when I saw an email from our caseworker, and then I saw our name and the date in the subject line, I knew it was more than just a friendly "hello." I knew it was an update, and my stomach quickly traveled up to my throat. Of course, then the light turned green, and the iPhone went away to the passenger's seat.

No matter what I say, I do care about having a child. I do see the possibilities of life flash before my eyes. At the same time, during the last few weeks, I have experienced God's grace like I have never known before. He really is teaching me how to love Him more... even though I am not there yet.

So, after I got home, I sat in the car for a minute and quickly read over our report. We don't get them as often as I would like - every 3 months - but that is pretty standard for most agencies, so we deal with it.

Here is what it told us. Our profile was seen by three birth mothers. Two thought we were nice (serious paraphrasing going on here) but didn't really feel a "connection." Good enough.

The last birth mother loved everything about us, or so it seemed from her comments. However, she did not request any further information about us at this time.

Um... okay?

First reaction... WHY IN THE WORLD NOT?????

Do you see why these reports, as much as they are wanted, send me into a tailspin? I am trying really hard to get better about controlling my emotions, but you know...

Second reaction... This is a really hard decision for her. Maybe she wants to look at everybody before she makes any moves. Maybe she wants to look at each family separately before deciding. Maybe she's not ready to make this decision at all. Maybe...

Then, it came to my philosophical mind. I wondered... Is this how God feels? I mean, we want to be chosen. It looks like we would be the perfect family. Yet, she says, not at this time. It is the same with God, isn't it? He desires that everyone would be saved and that none would perish. He wants us to trust Him. He wants us to cast all our cares upon Him. He wants us to obey Him. He wants...

...and that all sounds fabulous to us! Yet, we look away. We say... another time. Not today. I'm too busy. I can handle this on my own. I have a better idea, God.

Do you ever wonder if He just sits up in heaven, heartbroken? Shaking His head? Asking why we won't accept what He so freely offers? Why? Why not now? Why not Him?

Then, sitting in the car, a song came on the CD player. You know, people asking me for a review would do well to give me a few months to live out the songs before giving my opinion. To let them become real to me. To develop their meaning in my life.

The song said:

(verse 1)
You dance over me while I am unaware
You sing all around but I never hear the sound

(chorus)
Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
And how You love me

(verse 2)
You paint the morning sky with miracles in mind
My hope will always stand
For You hold me in Your hand

(bridge)
How deep how wide
How great is Your love for me
© 2005 Integrity Music

Christian lyrics - AMAZED LYRICS - LINCOLN BREWSTER

Did you catch that? He dances over our lives. He sings all around us. Yet, we are unaware. We don't hear Him. Why not??? ...and I thought, truly LORD, I am amazed by how You love me despite myself. Despite the fact that I put you off, that I tell you "no," that I ignore You when You call me, that I don't trust You as I should.

Then, this morning during church, the musical lesson continued. It is often like that, for me. One verse out of a song written by a very talented musician.

Only the God Who left His throne above
He came to live with us
Came to be one of us
To only the one
Who stopped to heal that blind man
Took the time to save that one lost lamb
To only the King Who wore that crown of thorns
So I could wear the crown of life
And to only the One Who conquered sin and death
So we could be set free
So we could stand here and sing

Isn't He amazing that He would do all that for us??? ...and I have to wonder... do you think this is how God feels when we don't choose the ONE... Him?

So, the question remains: WHY NOT???

Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...

Women of Faith CD Review: First Second Impressions...

I have reminded myself, after listening to this CD multiple times, that first impressions are not always accurate. When I saw the tweet come through a couple weeks ago with an offer for the first 50 people to sign up to receive a free Women of Faith worship CD in exchange for their honest opinion of it, I thought, “Hey, why not. I probably won’t be one of the first 50, but I LOVE Women of Faith music!” Not too many days later, I was SO excited to receive an email confirming that I was, in fact, one of the first 50!!! I patiently waited, and when the coveted package arrived, I tucked it safely inside my purse to take to work. The next morning, I popped it in the CD player on my computer, and listened away… My first impression? Honestly, a bit conflicted. I was born in the 70’s, a child of the 80’s, and a musical product of the 90’s. I remember being introduced to my first Women of Faith Worship CD (Boundless Love) in 1998. It was a time of great spiritual awakening in my life, and I LOVED the music! Each and every song held special meaning for me. Perhaps, that is why I was initially a little disappointed with this year’s music. As I listened to each song, I would think, “Oh, I like that one!” and then “Oh, I don’t like that one.” I thought “I guess this CD really has something for everyone, but not everything for anyone.” How selfish of me! I did, however, reserve my judgment, and continued listening to the CD in the car with my husband over the next few days. Surprise, surprise! My ultra conservative, foreign-born hubby liked the music more than me (especially the brand new, upbeat ones!), and as I listened from his perspective, it really grew on me. It’s funny. This CD really is new and fresh. It has a great blend of old favorites redone, current trends, as well as completely up-to-the-minute music. I must admit, I have tradition coursing through my veins. So, I really liked the songs with that flavor, like Lead Me to the Cross and God of This City while I did not initially care as much for I Am Free and Just Wanna Say. My husband and I definitely agreed that we loved the new flair on Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing the most! I also appreciated that everything was seasoned with the truth of God’s Word! There truly is something for everyone in this collection. If you give it a second chance, I bet you’ll find, like I did, that each song grows on you and becomes part of your life like an old friend!

Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...

Reflections...

Music is something that has always been a very important part of my life. My mom used to play music for me when I was a baby, and my parents used to take me to concerts at church and nearby festivals where we heard all sorts of music. My mom always told me that I was the happiest as a baby when music was playing and that I would sleep through anything at church as long as the music kept going. If it stopped, though, then I woke up. That explains why I can still sleep with the tv on all night long. Yes, I know I am wasting electricity, but it is how I sleep the best.

Yesterday, on the way in to work, I switched out the CD that was playing in the car and popped in another that I purchased in 1998 from a conference that I attended that year. It was a life-changing year for me, and the music was just as life-changing to go along with it. I still feel that way, which is why I go back to it from time to time. As I was flipping through the lyrics on the CD cover, I noticed the names of the soloists in each of the songs, and I decided to Google them. I thought maybe they would have blogs where I might see how God is working in their lives today. So, I did. I Googled them, and do you know what I found? I discovered that one of the ladies I listened to all the way back then is now one of these ladies. I knew I liked her!

The point is that God has used music to speak life into my soul time after time over the years. As a baby. In 1998. Yesterday. Today. He has used the medium of music to convey His message in a way that I could receive it... and live it... and sing it... and breathe it. In a way that would bring healing when I needed it. Or hope. Or conviction.

One such time, you can read about here and here. That was really a very profound time in my life. I hope you'll take the time to read the story. It says a lot about who I am and how God began His work to change my life. I don't know exactly why I am telling you all of this. I just noticed this unbroken thread that has woven its way throughout my entire life, and I thought it was neat, so I thought I would share.

Today, I choose joy in God's gift of music to me. How about you? Do you have a song that is special to your life? One that God has used to minister to you or to teach you something? Please share. I would love to hear how God is working in your life!

Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...


***Don't forget to pray for someone today!

Sheila Walsh...

I don't know if any of you are familiar with Sheila Walsh, but she used to be a co-host on the 700 Club, and now she travels as one of the speakers on the Women of Faith team. If you've never been to one of their conferences, I would highly recommend it.

Quite a few years ago, Sheila really impacted me through what she shared at a conference I attended. Honestly, that time in my life really sparked a desire in me to get out of my "cage" and to allow God to be my LORD, and not just my Savior, although He was definitely that already.

***
Speaking of Honestly, Sheila wrote a book by that title some time ago. If you ever run across it, pick it up. It's a great book. In it, she shares her struggle with depression and how God brought her through. I can relate. Actually, I can relate to a lot of the things Sheila speaks about.

***
Why am I telling you all this? Well, I am on Sheila's mailing list, and I have received a few things lately that I have been wanting to share. The first is an excerpt from her most recent book (which I plan to pick up sometime soon), and the second is her most recent email update, in which she shares her heart and talks a little about this year's WOF conference. It is held in many cities across the United States. Perhaps, you would like to attend one near you. I don't think you will regret it. Steven Curtis Chapman will actually be there this year, as well! I'll be going in July, and I can't wait!

***
Anyway, I digress. Here are the emails I received from Sheila Walsh that I wanted to share with you... Enjoy!

We are living in tough times. Are you discouraged by the challenges you face? Are you concerned about your finances, your marriage, your children? Sheila's been there too, but she's seen God prove Himself again and again. That's the message she shares in LET GO, her personal story of how God can make a way!

Click on the link below and read the first chapter of LET GO free!

http://www.scribd.com/doc/11529721/Let-Go-by-Sheila-Walsh

"A Note From Sheila" for March 17, 2009

God Is Faithful!

Dear Friends,

I'm finally getting down to writing a newsletter. Sorry that it's been such a while. When our Women of Faith season finishes each year, I seem to kind of grind to a bit of a halt. Before I know it, a new season is upon us and we're off and running! Last weekend in Kansas City, we had the first all new conference of 2009! Our event this year is A Grand New Day and our theme verse is from Lamentations 3:22-23:

Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.

I cannot think of a more perfect theme for this year than God's promise of mercy and faithfulness to His children. In days when so many are concerned about their jobs, family, and homes, it is good to remember that God will never leave us or forsake us.

This year, we also have some new faces on the porch. Most Friday nights we are joined by Steven Curtis Chapman. Many of you will remember that ten months ago the Chapman family lost their youngest daughter, Maria Sue Chapman, in a tragic accident in the driveway of their home. As Steven took the stage Friday night, he began to sing,

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be your name

I don't think I will ever sing that worship song the same way again. The theme of God's goodness through pain and suffering seems to be a thread that runs through the whole weekend. Patsy shares what is a very fresh grief for her and my story this year is the most honest, intimate story I have shared since Honestly came out about fifteen years ago. Our other new guests are Lisa Whelchel and Lisa Harper. You may remember Lisa W. from the television show "The Facts of Life". Lisa gives us a glimpse of what it was like to be a Christian teenager in Hollywood and where God had taken her since then. Lisa Harper is a fabulous Bible teacher and storyteller. As a forty-five year old single woman, she brings a unique perspective to our stage and she is also fall-over funny! I hope you will be able to be with us in one of our cities in 2009. Check out the closest city to you at www.womenoffaith.com

As I reflect on our theme verse this year, the thing that is most arresting to me is that the promises are based on who God is, not on how well we perform. We may walk through tough times but because of HIS mercy, we are not consumed. We may fail him at times, but HIS compassion will never fail. Our faith may waver at times, but HIS faithfulness will never be moved.

I pray that you will know that today as deep as the marrow in your bones.

Because of Jesus,

Sheila

"Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."

Visit GospelMusicChannel.com/SheilaWalsh and let Sheila know what is burdening you or questions you might have on how to let go and live free. Sheila will be providing answers to your questions by video in the near future.


Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...



***Don't forget to pray for someone today!

The Big Picture...

Recently, I had the privilege to attend a Women of Faith (www.womenoffaith.com/) conference in Charlotte, NC, and God spoke to me through several of the speakers. In the weeks leading up to this trip, I believe He also prepared me with several passages of scripture and tidbits of sermons or books I am reading which stood out to me. I haven't quite put it all together, so excuse me for the rambling and disorder of what I am about to write. Perhaps God will grant me some clarity as I seek to see the big picture of what He is trying to show me. Some of you who know me know that behind my desk at work is a large window overlooking the mountains. Many times, I have said that I wish this gorgeous view was in front of me rather than behind me. Every once in a while, I will remember how privileged I am to witness the spectacular hand of my creator when I look out the window. How often, though, I forget to turn around to look. How like my spiritual journey in that I forget to turn around to look at what He has done in my life, instead focusing on the unpleasant and often messy steps in front of me. Oh, if only I could see the spectacular landscape He is unfolding on the canvas of my life.

I am sincerely and earnestly seeking God's answer to two questions:

~ 1. Does He want me to do a master’s degree in counseling and what would He want me to use it for?

~ 2. Should we continue to do nothing to have a child and just wait or should we actively pursue adopting? I don’t want to move ahead of God, but I don’t want to do nothing if He wants me to do something.

So, in the order He gave them to me, here are the things God has emphasized to my heart these last few weeks (my emphasis added in bold). Feel free to comment any insights He may give you...

• In her book, When I Lay My Isaac Down, Carol Kent (www.carolkent.org/) writes "I had much to learn about heart sacrifices. As defined by the dictionary, a sacrifice is ' an act of offering to a deity something precious, something offered in sacrifice; it's surrender of something for the sake of something else, something given up.' True heart sacrifices involve: identifying something precious to us (our Isaac); letting go of our control over the situation, event or the person as an act of worship; embracing God's love in the process of the release; resting in the outcome, even if in this lifetime we are not allowed to understand the reason behind the need for the sacrifice and the pain involved."
  
• 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
  
• Women of Faith Pre-Conference - Sandi Patty (www.sandipatty.com/)
  
  Life is a journey
  
  1. Reframe
  2. Reclaim : God has not forgotten you
  3. Rename
  
  Lift your eyes unto the hills where your help comes from.
  
  Give anyone you touch HOPE!
  There is STRENGTH, HOPE, POWER in the name of the Lord.
  Blessed is he who comes in the NAME of the LORD.
  
• Women of Faith Pre-Conference - Patsy Clairmont (www.patsyclairmont.com/)
  
  God has imprinted our highest calling on our desires. These desires are validated by:
  
  1. others
  2. open doors
  
  ... and I will add, validated most importantly, by God's Word
  
  GIDEON - the Lord is with you, mighty man of valor
  
  - not what Gideon was, but rather...
  - what Gideon would become.
  
  "Have I not sent you?"
  "I will be here when you return"
  
  Perspective ~ Balance ~ Insight Judges 6
  
  the Israelites:
  
  - carved out "hiding places" (I have too...)
  - were greatly impoverished (so am I...)
  - cried out to the Lord in "relinquishment"
  
  Battlecry: The Sword of the LORD and Gideon!
  
• Women of Faith - (http://www.womenoffaith.com/)
  ***Disclaimer*** I'm sure the next part won't make much sense to anyone but me, but in looking at the big picture, it helped me to include everything and to leave nothing out. So, here goes...
  
  Chonda Pierce
  The last puzzle piece...
  
  Sheila Walsh
  Dare to Live. You don't have to hide anymore
  
  Thelma Wells
  A stuck zipper...
  
  Patsy Clairmont
  M.O.V.E. Be ready to do what it is He is asking
  - it is often a risk to trust God
  
  Jennifer Rothschild
  "God might not heal you here on earth because you might love it too much and heaven is much better."
  
  Marilyn Meburg
  The Master Plan
  
  Ephesians 3:18-19 that you may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
  
  Is your life the way you planned it? (no, not really...)
  
  1. We are loved beyond our comprehension
  2. Ephesians 2:10 We are His masterpiece
  Ephesians 1:4 The Plan is His
  
  Sometimes God allows what He hates to produce what He loves
  
  3. Trust Him for the part of the plan we do not understand and do not like
  
  Deut. 29:29
  Eccl. 11:5
  Prov. 3:5
  Rom. 8:28

Well, as the famous cartoon character says, "That's all folks." At the beginning of this post, I said I would ramble on... and I have... for quite a while now. The posting date may be earlier in November, but it is actually now November 23, Thanksgiving Day, at 10:29 p.m. I am in Romania with my husband visiting his family. This long awaited and much needed vacation has finally afforded me the chance to finish this post. I have not put all the pieces together yet, but I am waiting and listening for what He wants to tell me and teach me next. I am expecting great things.

Freedom... Part 2

As I said in my previous post, God had been trying to speak to me for some time. That evening, I listened to Sheila tell the story of the bird cage, and the voice of God pierced my heart as He gently tapped the door of my cage, persuading me to come out. You might ask yourself ~ why would someone want to remain in such a small, restricted place? Like the birds, I was freed by the redemptive work of Christ on the cross; yet somehow, I was still afraid to come out. The confines of the cage felt safe and comfortable, while the outside world loomed large and intimidating. What was keeping me inside? It wasn't something I didn't know, but rather something I didn't want to acknowledge. My problem, my sin, my CAGE... was pride. I was afraid of what others thought of me. For years, Satan had very effectively used my fear and self-doubts to keep me locked away in a corner, useless to myself or the kingdom of God.

Sheila closed with this song and I knew that my Christian life would never be ordinary again. It would no longer be about my religion, but about my relationship with Christ. I would be fully satisfied with nothing less.

Sitting all alone now, broken dreams
And in this place, this pretty cage, broken wings.
You re so afraid to fall again
But all you need is found in him
For you were made to rise upon the wind.
It's time for you to fly.
It's time to soar on eagle wings.
Don't be afraid, you're not alone so lift your head up high.
It's time for you to fly.
Take a look outside now and see the sky.
Can you hear all heaven sing, come and fly!
So take a step outside the door.
He paid the price, there's so much more
For you were made to rise upon the wind.
It's time for you to fly.
It's time to soar on eagle wings.
Don't be afraid, you're not alone so lift your head up high.
It's time for you to fly.
(Sheila Walsh, John Hartley, Gary Saddler)

God used Sheila's presentation that night to make me willing to take that first step to the edge of my cage. To wonder what might be beyond my self-imposed borders and limitations. To step out in FAITH, whatever the future would hold, and to trust Him to use me for His purpose and His glory. I must admit that my "flight" has not been without its obstacles and, at times, I have failed. But I am willing to continue the journey, FREE in His love and safe in His arms.

Freedom... Part 1

God has been teaching me so much that I would like to put it down on paper all at once. But, perhaps it will be more revealing if I communicate it in pieces. Shall I start at the beginning?

The beginning for me happened in April of 2001. God had been trying to speak to me for some time and I was starting to hear him. Having been a Christian since the age of 5, I had become quite "comfortable" in my daily walk with God. Looking back, it is evident to me that one of the most effective traps Satan uses in the lives of Christians is to make them comfortable in their routine. After all, how effective can a robot be for the kingdom of God? Christian school, Christian home, church 3 times a week. These are not dirty words or bad things. Within a heart that longs for the things of God, such opportunities serve to cultivate deep roots, but given to mere routine, they can be a breeding ground for a stale, apathetic attitude. Worse ~ they can deceive a person into believing they are okay by substituting Christian busyness for full passion and surrender to Christ. Am I being too honest?

One Friday that April, I sat in a Women of Faith conference and listened to author, speaker, and singer Sheila Walsh tell the following story:

The Rusty Bird Cage

There once was a man named George Thomas, pastor in a small New England town. One Resurrection Sunday morning he came to the church carrying a rusty, bent, old bird cage, and set it by the pulpit. Eyebrows were raised and, as if in response, Pastor Thomas began to speak... "I was walking through town yesterday when I saw a young boy coming toward me swinging this bird cage. On the bottom of the cage were three little wild birds, shivering with cold and fright. I stopped the lad and asked, "What you got there, son?" "Just some old birds," came the reply. "What are you gonna do with them?" I asked. "Take 'em home and have fun with 'em," he answered. "I'm gonna tease 'em and pull out their feathers to make 'em fight. I'm gonna have a real good time." "But you'll get tired of those birds sooner or later. What will you do?" "Oh, I got some cats," said the little boy. "They like birds. I'll take 'em to them." The pastor was silent for a moment. "How much do you want for those birds, son?" "Huh?!?! Why, you don't want them birds, mister. They're just plain old field birds. They don't sing. They ain't even pretty!" "How much?" the pastor asked again. The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy and said, "$10?" The pastor reached in his pocket and took out a ten dollar bill. He placed it in the boy's hand. In a flash, the boy was gone. The pastor picked up the cage and gently carried it to the end of the alley where there was a tree and a grassy spot. Setting the cage down, he opened the door, and by softly tapping the bars persuaded the birds out, setting them free. Well, that explained the empty bird cage on the pulpit. Then the pastor began to tell this story ... One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught the world full of people down there. Set me a trap, used bait I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!" "What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked. Satan replied, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I'm really gonna have fun!" "And what will you do when you get done with them?" Jesus asked. "Oh, I'll kill 'em," Satan glared proudly. "How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked. "Oh, you don't want those people. They ain't no good. Why, you'll take them and they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you, and kill you. You don't want those people!" "How much?" He asked again. Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your blood, tears, and your life." Jesus said, "DONE!" Then He paid the price. The pastor picked up the cage, opened the door, and walked from the pulpit. -- Author Unknown --

To Be Continued...