Got milk?

A month ago. I did not realize how long it had been. I just knew it had been awhile. Well, looking back through all my Facebook messages (come on, tell me that's not how you figure things out, too!) I realized that it was exactly one month ago, today, when someone first offered me milk for our son.

We had struggled for months with, first, a liquid formula (this was already his third formula by the time he came to us!) and then a lactose-free formula, which worked better than the others, but still not well enough. If he threw up once a feeding, he threw up five or six times each feeding. It wasn't just a little, either. It was close to at least half of every feeding, if you added it all up. When he stopped gaining sufficient weight (only five ounces in one month!), the doctor became concerned and prescribed Z@nt@c for acid reflux. It didn't really seem to make a difference, though, so that was short lived until the doctor said we could stop. Thank goodness. I really don't like having to give him medication.

Now, though, we had this other opportunity in front of us. It didn't exactly sound strange to me, but I wondered if it was okay. So, we called the pediatrician for clearance, and then marched forward quickly with what God had provided. It is interesting just how much C.T.C. liked her milk. I mean, REALLY liked it! I recall one time when I gave him the bottle, he immediately exhaled with a deep sigh and a long "mmmmmmm....!" It felt good for this mama's heart to feel his satisfaction in place of all his previous discomfort.

As the days passed, we continued to get milk, but now, it was more like five or six different mothers making the donations Five or six mothers with five or six of their own little ones to feed. Five or six mothers who endured my probing examinations of... do you smoke? do you drink? do you take drugs? are you healthy? what prescription medications do you take? what is your diet like?

I must admit. Even though I was incredibly grateful for these wonderful gifts, and even though I rested in our son's obvious pleasure, I felt guilty, too. I have a natural tendency in my personality to feel this way, and it is something I am working on, but nevertheless, I felt bad about taking from another mother. Another child. Anyone, really, when I was not doing my part. I know, I know. I hadn't been pregnant. So, how in the world could I produce milk for my own son? I felt helpless and insufficient. I read a bit (okay, a LOT!) about other adoptive mothers who had successfully deceived their bodies into producing milk for their children. Maybe I could too, I thought! I even called a lactation consultant to come over to our home for a meeting. She was very positive about the potential and gave me all the information I would need to present to my doctor to get started. Prescriptions I would need for him to write. Our plan of action. So, off I went, typed proposal in hand, and a determined mindset to do whatever I could. FAIL! The doctor actually took a LONG time to come in to the examination room, and I wondered why in the world they were so far behind. Come to find out, the nurse who came in to ask me all the prerequisite questions, took the proposal I gave her and handed it over to him to read. Then, he and his partner (neither of whom had ever heard of such a thing as adoptive lactation!) began to research. When he finally came in to our appointment, he told me that, as a doctor, he prides himself on knowing his field very well. However, neither he nor his colleague were able to find even one peer-reviewed (read: GOLD standard of science!) article in all their medical journals documenting what I wanted to do or its potential success or failure. Beyond that, the medication I was asking him to prescribe for me was not FDA approved. It really didn't matter that it is approved in every other country in the world, because it it not approved in America. It really didn't matter that he could write me a prescription that I could fill in C@nada, because that could cost him his medical license and was something he was unwilling to do. Point noted. Shot down. Truly, I was disappointed, but I reminded myself that I asked God to please accomplish His will through this appointment, even if it might turn out to be the opposite of what I hoped. I guess that's exactly what happened, and God answered my prayer. Why isn't it easier to accept God's will when we have other ideas in our minds? I guess the same could be said for my willingness to trust Him on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis to provide for my son's food. Many days, I knew there was not enough milk left for the next day. Sometimes, I knew there was not even enough left for the next feeding. Of course, I had formula, and I could not... would not let him starve. It's just that I felt so... um... guilty for giving him what I knew was not the best thing for him. I remember one time when I literally did not have any more milk to give him, so I mixed up a bottle of formula... only to have him throw up more than half of it all over himself, me, and the floor. Then, there were all the text messages. Do you have milk? Do you have milk? Do you have milk? I've become a lot more bold as an advocate for my son. Followed up with car rides all over the city to pick up whatever was available. Even if it was only enough for one or two feedings. Talk about trusting God for daily bread. I have been blessed, though, through the entire experience so far. Yikes. So far. Because it's not over yet, and I wonder if God thinks I get it yet. I keep thinking I've learned my lesson, only to be faced with yet another extension of the same lesson. Over and over again. Trust ME! Yes, LORD, I am trying. I will trust You and ask that You continue to guide our steps.

So, I have laid down the idea of trying to make milk myself for our son. We are gratefully accepting milk from several healthy, gracious mothers, and I have made countless new friends. We are watching him fill out a bit... still not as much as we would like, but he is oh, so much better than before. He is back up from the 10th percentile to the 25th, and he is a very happy baby.

You know, it is interesting how God's provision is always right on time... the first and most consistent donor we have had is moving away this week, and God has already provided us with another very generous young woman to come alongside us. She gave us 200 ounces last evening, and plans to continue to give to us on a regular basis. I cannot adequately express to you what a relief it is to have a freezer full...




...and to not have to pursue that next bottle. Hey, maybe God thinks I have finally learned the trust lesson well enough... I guess we'll see. Thank you, LORD, for always providing in our moment of need!




Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...

iPhones and Blessings!

Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...

Never say never...

There are a couple of things that I said I would never do concerning my son... or at least I hoped I would not have to do.

1. Put him on a medication like Zantac that could have negative side effects
2. Wake him up to feed him

Well, never say never because I guess both of those are on the table, now.

We went to the pediatrician yesterday for C.T.C.'s four month check -up, hoping that he had gained a healthy amount of weight. The last time we had been there, he had, unfortunately, slipped on his weight percentile from the 50th down to the 25th. Concerning? Perhaps, except that he had gone up on his height percentile from the 50th to the 75th. An argument could be made that he had simply stretched out. Laying him on the scale, though, I could quickly see that it was not to be. Only 5 more ounces in almost a month. Not even 13 pounds at four months of age. It seemed a bit low to me, and the doctor confirmed my suspicions and her concern. The last time, it was a signal to watch and see, but now, it was a pattern. He was no longer sustaining his level of growth. He had fallen off his curve, and something had to be done. Her previous opinion on medication was that she did not prefer to "mess with the gut floor" on infants. I know that many other physicians are quick to prescribe, but she liked to try whatever else was possible first in order to preserve a baby's stomach acid, which is necessary to manage bad bacteria. However, at this point, she said that because of his struggle to gain weight, we had no choice. What is a mother to do? Take a big breath, pray that God will protect my son from any ill side effects, and pick up the prescription. So, now, my son is on Z@nt@c twice a day and eating no more than five ounces at once (because he was not keeping down greater amounts) 6-7 times a day. I'm pushing for seven, but do you know how tough that is when he has been sleeping through the night since the age of five or six weeks? [SO grateful!!! :o)] There aren't that many hours left in the day. Even the doctor said she couldn't believe she was going to tell me to do this. I mean, wake up a sleeping baby???? She said I could just give him his first feeding the second we got up in the morning, but even that doesn't really leave enough time for every 3 hours, and he needs EVERY calorie he can get! Fortunately, he woke up on his own at 4 a.m.




He must have known it was time for him to eat. Oh, and I didn't tell you where he is at this point, did I? Yeah. That would be the 10th percentile. As in, T-E-N-T-H. When he came to us, he was in the 90-something percentile.

90th... and a chin! ;o)

Then, steadily in the 50th. Then, last time in the 25th, and now in the 10th.

10th and not an ounce of fat on him! :o(

We are giving him all the nutrition we can, but he's just not keeping it down. :o( So, we are just following the doctor's recommendations and trusting that God will help his little body to grow! You know, I thought we had learned enough about trusting just waiting for him. I didn't realize I would have this many more opportunities to learn about trusting God, now! ;o) Actually, last night was a very pleasant evening. After giving him his first dose of medication, it was the first time I can EVER remember that we were able to use a regular sized burp cloth instead of a blanket. He did not throw up even once in three feedings, and he was quite relaxed. I even felt a twinge of regret that we had not asked the doctor to reconsider doing this sooner. I mean, he seemed to feel so much better. So, that's our update. It didn't come out exactly the way I said it to myself as I was falling back asleep after feeding him this morning, but... oh, well... it's done! :0)

So, that's it.

4 feedings down.
NO throwing up for 3.
Minimal spitting up for 1. So, that's what you call spitting up??? ;o)
3 feedings to go for the day.
Weight check in 3 weeks.

Please keep praying!

Jump back on your curve, baby! ;o)

Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...

The 1st Three Months!

Well son, I am not sure if your Mama's brain is going to remember everything, but here goes! You are growing SO much! The first few weeks were hard because your tummy did not like the formula we were told to give you. About 15 minutes after you would eat each time, you would cry for a very long time, and we knew that you were in pain. After a couple of visits to the doctor, we convinced them that you needed a new formula (your FOURTH one!), and they agreed that we should try one called Nutramigen. We are grateful to God for all the scientists who know how to do things like take the dairy proteins out of formula so that little babies like you won't get sick. You do much better now! Except for the spitting up. Ha! You do A LOT of that! It keeps you trim and slim for sure. You DO like to eat, though! You let us know every time you are hungry, and that is more often all the time. Maybe that is because you lose so much from every feeding. We have finally settled on 5 ounces in your bottle, and you ask for that every 2 - 3 hours. It is better than giving you more, though, because your tummy just won't keep it down. We can't wait to see how much weight you have gained at your next checkup. When you were born, your weight was 7 pounds, 9 ounces, and at the last visit to the doctors, you weighed 12 pounds, 8 ounces. That makes you bigger than 25% of the other babies out there. It is good, though, because we hope that you won't struggle with weight like Mama and Daddy. You are tall, too! You were 24.5 inches at your last doctor's visit, and that makes you taller than 75% of all the other babies out there! WOW! You will definitely be taller than Mama and Daddy! :o)

You have been smiling for a long time now. We love to see you smile, and recently, we have loved to hear you laugh! One day, I even heard you laugh in your sleep. That made me smile because I knew you were having pleasant dreams. You like the different things we say to you, and the different songs we sing. "Bella," as we call your Grandma, taught you the words "uh-oh" and you try very hard to imitate those sounds. You are getting close! You like to hear the rhymes "Pat-a-cake" and the "Itsy Bitsy Spider." You also like to hear the "A-B-C song," "Jesus Loves Me," and any other song we can think of. You like for us to get creative, and you don't really like to hear a song or rhyme for more than a day or two. We know that you are bored and want us to find something new when you stop smiling. It can be rather challenging! ;o) You LOVE the Praise Baby DVDs we got for you at the Christian book store. You try to sing along, and Daddy is happy about that! You especially like the songs "I Could Sing of Your Love Forever" and "Holy, Holy, Holy!" :o) Your grandmother, Mamaie, can't wait to hear you sing, too! You see her when Daddy talks to her on Skype, and you will meet her next year when we travel with you to Romania where your Daddy grew up!

The doctor says that you are very healthy. When you first came to us, your eye watered a lot, but I noticed the other week that it wasn't doing that anymore. Now, we just need to get your tummy settled down. We do give you some things in your bottle twice a day that make you feel some better. They are aloe, probiotics, and omega-3 fish oil. Such a yummy cocktail! We are also taking you to the chiropractor each week to help your body stay all relaxed and straightened out! You like him a lot, and he makes you feel better! :o)

You are quite the sleeper at night, son! You have been sleeping the WHOLE NIGHT since you were about 5 or six weeks old! Mama and Daddy are VERY thankful for that. For a few weeks, you were rather fussy in the evenings, but your sleeping through the nights helped us to get through that. Now, you are not as fussy at night anymore.

You do not sleep quite as well during the day. I guess that is smart, huh? Days are for doing things, and nights are for sleeping, right? ;o) Most times, you will wake up from your nap after 15 minutes or half an hour. If we lay down with you in the guest bed, though, you will sleep for 2 or 3 hours. I guess you just like to be with us. Plus, you like to sleep on your stomach, and you can do that if we are there to watch you, but not if you are by yourself. Grandpap discovered how much you like this, and taught us. He could get you to sleep better than all of us! :o)

You do not like to have a pacifier. We tried those with you several times when you first came to be with us, but you always spit it out. Who wants plastic in their mouth, anyway, right? ;o) You have found your thumb, though, and we think that it is good for you to have a way to soothe yourself! The only thing is that you chew on it more than suck. Maybe you are preparing to get some teeth??? :o)

You like baths, but you do not play in the tub yet. We can't wait until you do! :o) In the meantime, your big sister Goldie thinks it is her job to personally give you a bath! Maybe she thinks you are one of her puppies. LOL! ;o) Your big brother, Benjamin likes to sit quietly next to you and protect you. :o)

You like the swing our friends gave us for you. It is a good place to sit so that Mama can cook dinner or do the laundry, but really, you would rather be held. Mama likes to hold you, too, but sometimes, she needs to get things done. She doesn't get a bath very often anymore because you usually wake up from your nap when she tries. Hopefully, things will get a little better as you get older. :o)

You have a nice new crib, now, that we brought home a few weeks ago. Before that, you were sleeping in a bassinet, but then you were getting a little bit too big for that. Sadly, the crib has a little boo-boo on the top and we have to get a new piece to replace it. Then, your room will be almost done. It is still set up for guests to come visit us, too, and we like that because all our friends are so important to us and you. All of them were so excited and welcomed you with lots of gifts and many, many kisses! We were able to get your crib because of them, and you were also given A LOT of clothes! Now, the only thing left to do in your room is to paint your initials for the wall above your bed and the meanings of your names from the Bible, God's Word! You have three names plus our last name. Wow! 22 letters! You will know almost the WHOLE alphabet when you learn your names! ;o) Your first name was given to you by your birth mother, and we like it very much because it came from the Bible. We love her very much, and we hope that you will love her, too, and learn to know her as you grow. You have two middle names hyphenated together. They are each from your grandfathers because we love them very much and we want you to always remember them. We also have the changing table that was Mama's when she was a baby. Daddy's brother came to visit the other year, and he helped to paint the table to make it special for you! He even hand-painted the words Joy, Hope, and Peace on the drawers because those words were special to Mama while we waited for you. Don't ever forget, son, that God will give us His Joy, Hope, and Peace every day of our lives, if we ask Him. We pray that He will draw you to Himself early in your life, and that you will respond to Him and that you will not resist Him. He loves you and He died for you. We pray that you will choose to follow Him.

Well, it is late, and I can't think of anything else right now. We love you, and we are grateful to God for choosing us to be your Mama and Daddy! Sleep well!

Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...

Where it all fits.

It has been a long time since I have visited this, what was my second home for such a long time. Part of me misses it, and part of me doesn't give it a second thought. This was my go to place to get my thoughts out, to vent, and to meet others. Now, I find myself not needing it anymore, although I LOVE what I have gained from our time together. We'll see if I continue to post anything, perhaps with new intentions, but at least I have recorded my journey this far. It is always good to look back.

I have a rare moment right now. The baby is asleep, although I cannot vouch for how long that will last. When he cries, it is difficult for me to not go to him immediately because I am concerned that we should not have any attachment issues. I think I am probably over-responding and causing him to want to be held all.the.time! LOL! ;o)

The dogs are quiet downstairs after the baby and I walked them for about 15 minutes. That is more exercise than they have seen in awhile. The walks have to happen early if they are to happen at all in these temperatures.

The class website is down, so I am unable to do any assignments. Poor me. Oh well. [hear the sarcasm!]

Our transition is going fairly well. It has its ups and downs, mostly connected to my mood. I love being a mother. I love my son. I love my husband. It's just this life being so totally different thing that gets to me at times. It's like everything is upside down, inside out, and backwards. I think about our life four months ago. We knew nothing about anything. Life was its normal 15-year married routine. Just the two of us. As much as I love this, I miss that, too. We had given up our pursuit when God decided to move. Now, life has changed in an instant. We don't drive in to work together anymore. I don't go in to work at all. We don't grocery shop just the two of us anymore. Sometimes, we don't even grocery shop with the three of us. It's more like one or the other of us grocery shops alone. I miss shopping together. We are trying to learn how to make it all work with our new normal, and it is coming along.

I LOVE this picture of the three of us together!

We pulled out the Wii last night while the baby slept behind us in his swing. Even though we hadn't gotten on it in a very long time, it felt a little like normal to me. Oh, and I have lost 6.6 pounds, according to the Wii, since the adoption. This is a good thing, and one I am still fighting to continue. I have not forgotten my old goals. This last week, we stopped at the store together to get just one or two things. Not a big trip, but it felt a bit like normal to me. A new normal. I don't even know why I am sharing all this because I don't want you to think I am ungrateful. I feel so blessed by this gift God has given us. With what He has entrusted to our care. I just need to figure out who I am again. Nothing is the same. A few months ago, we went to work together everyday. We came home from work together everyday. We went shopping together. We traveled together. Every day was the same, as annoying as it could be. Every day was the same, as wonderful as it could be. I miss that.

Well, I hope this wasn't a downer. I just needed to get it out like I used to. If there is anything I have learned in counseling, it is the importance of getting it out.

There is lots more I could say, but I will end with two things.

1. Who am I now?

A wife, mother, daughter and friend. A bad cook who is trying to get better. A former employee. A child of God. Still trying to figure it all out and not lose my identity!

2. A few of my favorite pictures! :o)

A morning out with friends did us a world of good! I am convinced that these two would make a great husband and wife someday. Wouldn't their children be BEAUTIFUL?!?!?!? YES, I am a matchmaker! See... they are looking at each other and everything! Ha! ;o)

My new (to me) chair. Sometimes, I like it, and sometimes, I don't. :o)


Daddy and CTC at church.
Praying that God will draw our son to Himself at an early age.
Sharing the blessing of music that God has given to D.T.

Well, I guess that's about it for now. Until the next time...

Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...

Long time, no chat...

It has obviously been a long time since I have posted. I pray that God will give me clarity because there is so much I want to say, yet nothing I want to say. It may be a bit choppy.

C.T.C is doing well. He likes his new formula, and it agrees with him significantly more than the others did. His 2 month check-up is scheduled (just a tad bit late) for next Monday. According to my scale at home, I believe he is a bit more than 12 pounds. Growing boy!!! :o)

We are adjusting to our new normal, and we love it. I must admit, though, it is very hard! You all knew that, though, didn't you? ;o) It is quite an adjustment, that is for sure, and that is what I want to share with you in this post. God gave me a wonderful opportunity the other week. I took our son to meet a former professor who was familiar with our story. It was so neat how God orchestrated everything. I chatted online with the professor for a minute or two the night before to check his office hours, and he told me that he would be there after 1 p.m. So, after 1 p.m., I stopped by and he was not there. Then, I stopped by a second time later, and he was still not there. I was disappointed but figured that something must have come up. So, I later stopped by one final time, and was so excited to find him there! We chatted a bit, and towards the end of our conversation, he started asking me some questions that I found a bit strange. I knew there was something "to them." Then, he told me that he was currently teaching an intensive class (the one I dropped when we found out about our son) and was looking for someone to assist him with some role plays. He asked me if I was interested. He would be the counselor, and I would be the counselee. I was so excited, and eagerly accepted, but asked him why he asked ME. Then, he shared that he had just prayed that God would direct him to the person he should ask, and then I had immediately arrived at his door. I thought it was so neat that I had tried unsuccessfully to see him twice earlier, but found him there, just after he had prayed. If I had found him earlier, he would not have just prayed. How like God! Amazing!!! :o)

I should stop going on like this and just get to the point, or my son will wake up and end this post quickly. I am trying to let go of my perfectionism.

So, here's the story. I spent 3 mornings doing role plays with my professor for his class, and it was so beneficial to me, as my husband and I adjust to our new roles as parents. Two interesting things. My professor noted that my mind is overwhelmed by multi-tasking. Imagine that! It was also evidenced by him asking me a question and then me immediately forgetting what he had just asked me. Picture it. Sitting in front of 100+ students and my brain just totally shuts down! Ha!

Among other things, my professor suggested some ways of coping. One thing he said about me is that he finds me creative. I thought that was a little odd, but I can see the point that he was making between some poetry I have written in the past and the blogging that I have done. I guess I just didn't see myself as creative. He also suggested that I might want to get a voice recorder to capture my thoughts. I told him there was no way I would do that because I HATE my voice! So, he suggested that perhaps I could write some poetry and include a poem about my voice. Hahahahaha! I truly did not think THAT would happen, but I did try that night. Unfortunately, like I lost my train of thought during our counseling, my brain would not pull together my thoughts, so I let it go and moved on to other things. Later, the next morning, I discovered an application on my iPhone to record voice memos, and I thought, hey, what's the harm! I'll give it a try!

So, I did, and I proceeded to talk to myself for the next hour! Now, that is what I want to begin to share with you because:

1. it's easier than writing feels right now
2. it's real!
3. I can talk while I do other things!

So, tell me what you think!

Totally letting go of my perfectionism right now. Not even going to go back and read over this! ;o)

Phooey! I just tried to upload my audio file, and it does not work! I have to do some research and download a new program to see if this can work. I guess I will just post my audio files when I get it worked out.

Coming soon... (I hope!)


Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...

About ME!

Good morning! Mama said that a bunch of you were asking questions about me, so I am going to tell you a little bit about myself.

The other day, she told me about this book she found when she and my aunt were going through some of their old stuff in a place called an attic. She said that I should learn not to collect so much old stuff because it will just weigh me down over the years. The book was called MY Book about ME, and you know what? The book was about my Mama! She says that one day, she will buy me a book just like hers, but I have to be older first.



She wrote it when she was almost 9 years old... WOW! That is REALLY old!!! I am only 5 weeks and 5 days old. The 5 days counts! I can't wait to be bigger!!! :o) This is how big her hand was when she wrote it.



Mama said that she always wanted a little baby, and that God answered her prayers with me! She talks to me about this God person a lot, and says that He loves me and that He has a special plan for my life. I think I need to hear more about this God person! She says that she prayed to Him for a really long time for me! I guess I must be special!

Mama also says that I need to stop spitting up so much of my food if I want to grow big and strong like my Daddy. He says that he loves me, too, and ssshhhh... don't tell Mama, but he knows how to make me quiet better than she does! I like it when he holds me, and bounces me, and pats me on my diaper.

I told my Mama that I don't spit up as much of my new food, on account of 'cause I like it better. The other one she gave me hurt my tummy a lot. I think it had yucky milk proteins or something like that in it. At least, that's what Mama says. :o(



Mama also says that her favorite foods used to be pizza, spaghetti, and macaroni & cheese. She says that she used to eat them all the time and that is why she used to be really big!!! My Aunt Jennifer says she can attest to that. I don't know what that means, but I trust her. Mama says that she didn't used to like spinach, either. Now, she likes it, but not cooked. Just raw in salads. Daddy says that I will learn to be a better eater like him. Aunt Jennifer says that Mama used to even eat macaroni & cheese for Thanksgiving, and that one time, my Mama spit up all her spaghetti and her Daddy had to carry the tray back to the bathroom in the restaurant to clean it off. That is yucky! I would never do that! My Mama says that I shouldn't eat so much of those things because they are not very healthy for me. I think I want to try them, though. Maybe just one bite. Mama says everything is okay if you have just a little.



Did you know that Mama lives in the United States? She says that she always has. She even wrote it down in her book, but...



...when she wrote it down, she didn't know about my Daddy, or the place that he used to live, even though it was written down right there in her book. I guess she didn't pay too much attention when she was 9, but it was written right there. Romania. Guess how old Daddy was when Mama was 9?!?!?! He was 17 years old! She likes to tell that story! She says that he robbed the cradle. Now, why would anybody want to rob a cradle? I'd rather sleep in one! Daddy says that robbing the cradle doesn't count once you get past the age of 20!


So, did you know that my Mama is a girl? She says that my Daddy is a boy, and that so am I!



Mama says that when she was little...



...she wanted to be a nurse. She is not sure why 'cause she doesn't like that kind of thing anymore. Way back then, though, she knew that she wanted to be a mother. Wow! She really did wait a long time for me! Ever since she was nine years old!!! She says that God knew exactly when I would be born and that she just had to wait. She says that she was not very patient, but that I should learn to trust God better than she did. She says that He made the WHOLE WORLD and that He knows what is going on and that I can believe Him.



So. Here I am. My Mama says she can't tell you my real name, but that she is giving me a very special name on her blog. I don't know what a blog is, but she likes it, so I guess I will, too.

She says that she asked all of her blog friends for suggestions about what my name should be. She says that lots of people made really cool suggestions and that some people even told her names in email and in person and that they were all really good! She says that she decided on the one she chose because it combines her bloggy name and my Daddy's bloggy name, and she thought that was appropriate. I don't know what that means, either, but I trust her.

So, my new bloggy name is.... drum roll, please...

I think I might like to play the drums someday.

Oh, sorry, back to my name!

Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Do you like it??? They are going to call me "CTC", for short. Mama says it is because her name is Cinnamon Crunch and Daddy's name is Double Toasted! Get it??? Cinnamon. Toast. Crunch. ?!?!?!?

I like it! Mama says that her bloggy friend thinks that I might eat a cereal called that someday. I think I would like to try it, but not until I get bigger! Mama says that she actually met this bloggy friend and a bunch of others in North Carolina one time. Mama says that she has a lot of friends in a place called North Carolina and she thinks she ought to plan a road trip with Daddy and me to go see everybody! Of course, I had a hard time on our last road trip because I was only 4 weeks old and I was still drinking that yucky old formula. I told Mama I will be better this time, now that I am older! ;o)

Well, I guess that's all I have to tell you about me right now.

Wait... Mama tells me that I forgot to tell you how they found out about me. Oops!

Well... on April 11, Mama and Daddy's social worker emailed them to tell them about me. She told them that I was born on April 7th and that my birth mother wanted to meet them and ask some questions. Mama says that she waited to get an email like that forever. She says that for a long time, she had not believed that God would answer her prayer for me because she had waited so long. She even said that she thought she had heard God wrong. :o( Silly Mama. Now, she says that God knew all along just when I would come. So, Mama and Daddy got this email, and Mama says that she knew right then that this was going to finally happen and that I was going to be her little boy! She said that she had not trusted God before, but that she was going to trust God, now! The social worker said that they could meet with the birth mother that Thursday, but that they might not want to say anything to anyone yet, because nothing is for sure. Mama knew, though. She knew that God was answering her prayer and she wanted to believe Him, even though the outcome had not happened yet. So, she and Daddy told a few people, and everyone prayed. They didn't tell anybody on Facebook, though, because that is like telling the whole world! Mama says I need to be careful about things like that! :o)

Mama and Daddy met with my birth mother and the social workers that Thursday, and they had a really good time over lunch. That night, Mama and Daddy learned that it was for sure and that my birth mother wanted them to be my mama and daddy. Mama says that my birth mother loves me so much and that I will get to see her again sometime soon. I will like that, and I will tell her thank you for letting me come to live with Mama and Daddy!

Then, on April 29th, we had what is called a placement day at the adoption agency,



and everyone came to have a party for ME! That was fun, and a day I will never forget!

Well, my Mama says I have talked on here long enough. She says that when I get older, I will have a limit on computer time. I don't like that very much. She also thanked me for letting her get more sleep last night. She says that I slept for 7 whole hours without waking up to eat! Wow! I don't remember that! :o)

Ok. Come back to see me again, soon, and stop by the house sometime, too. Mama says she likes visitors! :o)


Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...

For Susan A....

Susan,

I got your comment last evening, and I wanted to respond. However, your profile was not enabled for me to view your information or to email you.

Thank you for your kind words. Yes, God IS good, and we give Him all the praise for this precious life He has entrusted to us. Yes, I would be thrilled for you to share my post about Henry Blackaby's Experiencing God. His work made an incredible impact on our lives. Please feel free to let me know when you do post it. I would love to read any thoughts or comments you might add. ;o)

Blessings!

Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...

Update from our agency...

Ok, I am taking the new mama, sleep-deprived cheater's road to an update.

This is from our agency's website.

I'll be back sometime to give you our spin on things, but for now, enjoy!


Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...

Welcome to the bloggy world!

Now, I think I need a bloggy name! Any suggestions? :o)

Praisin' the LORD, already! :o)

Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...

I did it!!! :o)

I exceeded my goal! I was a little short this morning, but by this evening (and one crazy day with not a lot of eating!), the rest had come off. I could tell you what my next goal is, but you might think I am a bit crazy. I was so excited when I was no longer obese, and I am even more thrilled now to have reached my goal. The thing is that I am still overweight according to medical standards. So, my new goal is not a number on the scale, but rather to be within normal limits on the Body Mass Index. I do have my ideas on what number I want to weigh, but I am not going to get caught up in that until I see how much more my body is willing to release.

This is a good day. Someday, I'll tell you what I was doing exactly one year ago today. Someday soon, I'll tell you what other miracles God is working in our lives! He is good!!! :o)


Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...

My most searched post...

The #1 post that I very often see pop up as being searched on my live feed is this one.

In fact, that just happened again a brief time ago. Is it okay if I am encouraged by my own post? Well, I am. I pray you will be too.

Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...

Encouragement...

Acts 17:26
"From one man HE made every nation of men,
that they should inhabit the whole earth;
and HE determined the times set for them
and the exact places where they should live."

Isn't it good and comforting to know that God has determined the intimate details of your life?!?

Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...

From theory to FAITH!

Recently, God answered a question that I have been asking for a long time. Why? Not why did He answer. The question was "Why?". The answer was not something that I had never heard before. It just became more real to me as I read it once again. It moved from theory to FAITH... from my head to my heart.

*******
Experiencing God Day By Day

by Henry Blackaby

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Testing Reveals Your Heart

"And you shall remember that the LORD your God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. "So He humbled you, allowed you to hunger, and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man shall not live by bread alone; but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the LORD. (Deuteronomy 8:2-3)

God allows us to suffer difficulties and hardships for a purpose. God led the children of Israel to wander through the wilderness for forty years in order to humble them and test them. When they refused to obey Him and enter the Promised Land, the Israelites revealed that they did not really know Him. If they had, they would have had more faith. God spent the next forty years testing the hearts of His people to see if they were prepared for His next assignment.

Testing reveals what is in your heart and produces a robust faith (James 1:3, 12). God allowed His people to hunger so they could experience His provision and develop a deeper level of trust in Him. As the people walked with God they came to understand that their lives depended upon His Word. They learned that God’s Word was the most important thing they had. After depending on God for forty years while living in the desert, the people listened when God spoke, and they believed. When they finally entered the Promised Land and waged war against their enemies, the Israelites knew that God’s word meant life and death. They were prepared to listen to Him, and as a result He led them to an astounding victory.

Is God presently testing you in some area of your life? What has His testing revealed? Have you become bitter toward God because of where He has led you? Or have you come to trust Him more as a result of what you have gone through?

*******
So, here is the deal as I approach some significant dates and events in my life. In 36 days, I will turn 35. In 86 days, our adoption contract will end. Right now, I have no desire to pursue having a child - by treatments or with another agency - beyond then. While I know that God has taught me so much through these experiences, part of me realizes that a decade of my life has gone by, caught up in my plans. I want the next decade to be caught up in HIS! If God intends for us to be parents, He will accomplish anything that needs to happen without my assistance. What a concept! :o) I have spent long enough trying to make everything happen. I don't pretend to understand God's plans. In fact, there is no way that I possibly could. The simplicity of it is that I must acknowledge and trust Him to direct me. Nothing more. Nothing less. The beauty of it is that I don't have to worry. He can handle it all, and that, praise God, is true freedom!

I know that was kind of blunt at the end. Sorry for that. It's just that is what I had to say, and I said it. I thank you for listening and for praying for us all this time. God knows the plans He has for us, and I look forward to seeing those come to pass, whatever they might be.


Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...

Spring!

I heard a bird singing yesterday.

I know I am not crazy because Phil did not see his shadow.

Could it be true?

Is spring on its way early this year?

Someone said it was 55 degrees here today, but it was cold and blustery when I got out of work.

The beauty in the way God designed the four seasons is that,
though each one is distinct,
they all work together to bring life and growth.
Spring is a period of freshness and new life.
Summer sees growth and productivity.
Autumn is a time for harvesting the rewards of past labors.
Winter is the season of dormancy and closure.
Each season has its own unique beauty and
makes a significant contribution to life.

From Experiencing God Day by Day.
Life's Seasons
February 2, 2011
by Henry Blackaby

I pray that spring will be here soon!

Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...

God is über-Good!

We all know that, right? Well, there are other times when we actually experience it... even in the little things. This was actually a fabulous weekend... after a pretty good week, too.

Allow me to share. :o) The other week, I was looking for a devotional book to download on the reader app for my iPhone, and I went back to a tried and true favorite. You can actually read his devotionals every day online, but I wanted something that I would have with me everywhere, and the electronic version was really cheap, so I bought it.

Here's where the God part comes in!!!

I have my options set up online for one-click buying. In other words, I don't have to go through a bunch of annoying steps to make my purchase. I just click on one link, and I'm done. Off to the download. So, that's what I did. One click. Download. Then, I saw what I did not expect. TWO books downloading. Both of which I apparently purchased somehow... unintentionally. No surprise to God, though, and OH-so-worth the second, also cheap price. I don't even know how it happened, except that God intended for me to have it. Both books had such a similar title that they had both showed up in my search results. I love this second book, though! I am actually wondering how I made it this far in my spiritual journey without ever reading anything from this man. His writing is completely amazing! Direct! Cut-to-the core. Challenging, yet easy to understand. IMHO, something that every Christian, without exception, needs to read!!! Another interesting fact... he was born a mere 51.1 miles from my home town! Of course, that was 114 years ago. I imagine the place looked different back then. Still. Cool. :o)

Then, this weekend. Y'all know how much D.T. loves to cook, right? Well, he loves to grill, too, and grill he HAS! We bought our grill 3 or 4 years ago, and we have used it well. I do mean, REALLY well. Now, spring is coming (YAY!!!) and we need to be prepared to contribute to our weight loss efforts with some yummy (and healthy) grilled favorites! So, we needed some new grill plates, because the old ones had pieces of metal coming off onto our food.




Yuck. Gross. Unfortunately, the manufacturer of our grill went out of business. It figures. So, off we headed to our local home improvement store with one of our yucky grill plates in hand (in a plastic bag, of course) so we could compare the size to any other grill plates they might have in stock. Not much luck, though. Nothing really matched, and if it even came close to being the right size, it wasn't the kind of material we wanted. We were hoping to find something cast iron since everything ceramic-coated quickly deteriorates and leaves off it's... well... coating. Alas, they had none. Except... that a sales person was very helpful and offered to look through their leftovers. Their spare parts. Until he found three smaller (to match the total size of our two bigger) grill plates that were, in fact, cast iron (woohoo!) and that he said we could have for... get this... NOTHING. Nada. Free. Can you believe it? He GAVE them to us, and walked us right out the front door.




Wow. God is good, regardless of whatever happens in our lives... but He also really showed His goodness to us this weekend. We certainly didn't want or need to pay for new grill plates. We had just returned from spending money on our upcoming trip to Romania, on a few new clothes for Mr. Skinny, and on some organizational things that make me über-happy. :o)

Our other shoe rack just wasn't big enough to fit
all of both of our shoes.
So, we bought this one for his shoes. Hehehe! :o)


Look! Now, there aren't any more shoes
piled up in our entry way!!! :o)

Of course, we tried to be good stewards of God's money by making our purchases at T.J. M@xx. You know, there is a reason I don't ever go in there. Good prices or not, it is really easy to spend a lot of money in that place, especially for two people that really like to spend $$$! :o) The best part of the day, though, was when D.T. tried on and purchased a pair of $17, size 34 jeans. Seriously! I am SO proud of that man! über-cool! :o)

Church was really good, too. We are starting to settle into this new place. We are still seeking God for which Sunday School class He would have us attend, but I really believe we can grow here. I am attending a women's Bible study that begins this Wednesday night. I can't tell you when the last time I attended a women's Bible study was. I also can't tell you when the last time I attended church on a Wednesday night was. Actually, I have really allowed the schedule of my life to get in the way of my spiritual growth, and I want to intentionally change that. I want to get back on His schedule. I am glad that God led us here.

How has God shown His goodness in your life lately?


Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...



P.S. oh, I almost forgot! I got an über-good sale on Sobe yesterday! You had to buy 10... like I wouldn't anyway??? and they were all $0.49 each! When I heard about that sale, I jumped right in my car and hopped on over! 40 bottles later... (for those of you trying to figure it out in your head, that's $19.60 all at once instead of $40 here and there!)

:o)

It did take awhile to find room for them everywhere in my kitchen. LOL!





P.P.S. Did I tell you? The temperature was 55 degrees here yesterday! In January! The dogs enjoyed their walk and being outside very much!


Our backyard did not enjoy their digging quite as much.



We have some serious fixing to do once spring really comes. :o)

Thirst...

Every morning, when I am in the tub, Goldie comes to beg for a drink of cold water.

"but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst.
Indeed, the water I give him will become in him
a spring of water welling up to eternal life."
John 4:14

"Of all God's creation, man is the only creature implanted with spiritual aspirations, leading him to prayer and worship. Wherever you find man, you will find him engaged in some sort of worship. No mistake about it, something within the creature lifts itself up in response to something within the Creator. That 'something' is the great mystery of the human heart created in the image of God. If a culture does not know the true Jesus Christ, it will invent its own God and worship that." ~A.W. Tozer Experiencing the Presence of God

Oh, that we would thirst for the presence of our Father, His son ~Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit He has sent us and that we would put aside anything that hinders us so that we, too, would beg for even just one drink.

What do you worship?

What do you thirst for?

Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...

I found it!!! :o)

Ahem. I mean... my wonderful husband found it waaaaayyy down deep in the couch cushions. Hmmm... I could have sworn (except that I don't) that I brought it upstairs with me last night. But I did pray that I would find it... at the exact moment he was finding it. And I didn't even know he was looking. Pretty cool that God would even care about something so insignificant, yet important to me. :o)

Wanna see my haircut? I mean, it's not much different than before except that I keep making her cut it shorter and shorter. Pretty funky, huh? :o)




Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...