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Tuesday, September 08, 2009

The JOY Challenge: Day 8

I am linking with Holley from in(courage) on her 40 day journey to choose joy. Won't you join us? If you would like to jump back to day 1 of my journey, click here. Or, to jump back to day 1 of her journey, click here.

Today, I choose joy in small blessings...

  • the energy to clean off our bedroom dresser last night. This is no small feat. I promise you, I haven't seen the top of it in months.

  • the first good night's sleep I've had in over a week, with little to no back pain. Praise God for creating the person who formulated Advil and for giving them the intelligence to do it.

    *pausing to take 4 more...*

  • the refreshing mist on my face this morning when I took Benjamin outside. It reminded me of God's refreshment.

I just popped over to Holley's place to see if she had anything up yet today, and I was pleasantly surprise to find her taking a little twist on her joy challenge. Holley asks what some of our joy stoppers are. Those things that get in the way of us experiencing joy.

Do you want to know what my biggest joy stopper is? Are you sure? Are you really, really sure??? I promise you, J, I am NOT referring to you specifically. I am talking in general about the biggest thing I deal with on a daily, yes, I said daily basis with friends, acquaintances, coworkers, Sunday school people. Everyone.

*Big breath*

Ready or not, here I go.

My biggest joy stopper is hearing that someone else is pregnant or just gave birth. Or, seeing pregnant people or brand new babies.

I guess it's just that I realize I will most likely never experience the gift of pregnancy, and even if our adoption is eventually successful, our child will probably not be a newborn.

I realize that this attitude is selfish of me. I admit it. I do not wish that anyone would not be pregnant or would not be blessed with a child. I am happy for them that they are or do. It's just that I wish I would too, and the daily (sometimes multiple times daily) reminders are often too much to bear. Maybe I should just go live in a cave. A cave without reproduction. It has been almost 12 years since D.T. and I started on this journey, and each reminder rips open the scab I thought I'd neatly formed over my heart. It has been my biggest thorn and also my biggest growth opportunity. Sometimes I have been successful, but more often, I have failed.

I wouldn't wish this on my closest friend or my worst enemy. It is truly a perfect example of the hideous consequences of the fall of man. Thanks, Adam & Eve.


Back to joy, 'cause that stuff is just way too depressing.

Do you think my back pain may have anything to do with the new laptop bag I carry to work everyday?

I think it's pretty. And FIERY!!! ;-)

Do you think my dogs wish they could run loose in the house while we are at work all day? Here they are as we are getting ready for work this AM...

They make me smile.

What are you joyful for today? Do share. Pretty please? :-)

Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...

***Don't forget to pray for someone today!


jle said...

That is not a laptop bag it is an elephant cage. Do you realize how much you would have to pay to even check that huge bag on a plane? Buy the plane, its cheaper.

But I did like the trailer you and Daniel got to haul it around with you.

Great to see you in NC this past Sunday.

Tara said...

Because I never had infertility issues, it is something I had not given a thought to in the past. This past Mother's Day, Beth wrote a post about it and it has stuck with me. There are things that take my joy away but nothing where I have to face it constantly on a daily basis.

Love the joys you have posted and that is one sassy laptop bag!!

Anonymous said...

Love the laptop bag! Glad that your back is feeling better!

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