This current class has really had my full attention, what with all the reading that has had to be done in order to complete the assignments. Some of these books are really life-changing... two things I am learning about myself:
1. I am a people pleaser
2. I am a perfectionist
...and neither one is exactly healthy - emotionally or spiritually. I need to learn how to accept God's strength in my weakness and imperfection and how to set boundaries in my life.
I did discover this last week that I had a few more vacation days available this year that I thought I had already accounted for. So... I took two and got all caught up with my class! Feels good! :o)
I am amazed where I am right now in our pursuit to have a child. I guess you really couldn't call it a pursuit anymore. It is more like a ~ if it happens, that would be okay ~ kind of thing. Several months ago, I realized just how much of an idol it had become in my life, and I asked God to please help me to control the overwhelming emotions I had. I've never been the best at controlling my emotions. I don't really know why I should be surprised that He answered my prayer, but He did. The last few months have been filled with few emotions regarding my desire to have a child. It has been nice. Freeing, actually. I have gone back and forth a bunch of times concerning whether or not I think it is a good idea to even move forward at this stage of our lives. I know God is in control, though. Whatever the outcome, HE will do what is best. In the meantime, I am attempting to fill the emotional void I have created in my heart with more of Him. You would think that would be easy, but it is not. It is a discipline.
If you happen to think about it today... or the next few days... or the next few weeks... please pray for D.T. He goes to the dentist today at 2 p.m. to have the beginning work for one of his teeth to be crowned. Oh, if that only meant that he was royalty! The one other time he had to have this kind of work done resulted in an incredible amount of pain! Not fun... or convenient considering everything we have going on...
Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...