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Monday, January 18, 2010

Reminders and confirmations.

I didn't expect Him to speak so soon, but He did. It was this last Sunday morning, (i.e. yesterday) and as quickly as I could open my Bible, He said:

God said to Jacob,
"Now move on to Bethel and settle there.
Build an altar there to worship me?
the God who appeared to you
when you fled from your brother, Esau."

Move on. To the place He told us when we were running in fear.

Okay, God, I understand. I get the picture. Thanks for the reminder. You told us what to do and to abandon our fears. We are. We've already got it all scheduled. We meet with our case worker on Thursday evening. We are moving on.

It is interesting. I also had a conversation with a friend who told me that, based on what they knew of the adoption decisions we had been making, they knew (or at least suspected) that we had not been trusting God.

Ouch. What a confirmation from the LORD that we are now obeying what He has told us to do.

Of course, my next logical question was: Why didn't you say anything to me?

Their reply: I am not your Holy Spirit.

I thought about that a little while, and I would have to agree. While God may sometimes use others to point us in the right direction, no one has the responsibility of being our Holy Spirit. In addition, I realize that had this person told me last year that I was not trusting God, I would not have listened. I had to get to this place on my own. God had to bring me here.

So, here I am. In a new place at a new time with new direction.

How do I feel about it?

Well...

SCARED TO DEATH!

yet, somehow, unexplainably, I feel PEACEFUL.

My friend described it as a good place to be. Butterflies in the stomach. Constantly aware of my need for Him, and relying, even resting, on His faithfulness to bring about the end He knows is best.

I know that this was all really random. Kind of short, too. Somehow, I am not feeling like my usual writing self, full of all the right words.

That's ok, though.

It is a good place to be. An imperfect person resting peacefully in the arms of a perfect God.

3 comments:

Beth in NC said...

Very interesting that we both touched on this subject my friend! And I do pray you will hear clearly in your decisions. It is often so hard to hear for ourselves.

(((hugs)))

Beth

TheEvjes said...

Love this line - It is a good place to be. An imperfect person resting peacefully in the arms of a perfect God.
What an encouragement, thanks for sharing! :)

- Mommy2Boyz- said...

How encouraging on so many levels!! Yeah, it's obvious you aren't holding anything back! Awesome!! The comforting part, too, is that God knows your innermost desires! Am excited to see/hear what happens next!

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