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Saturday, January 09, 2010

"Do you think I scared her much?"

That is the question D.T. asked me as we walked through the grocery store after our meeting was over.

Our 2 1/2 hour meeting.

Well, I don't think D.T scared her, but we did have a very open and honest and long discussion. We definitely let our true personalities "shine" through. Why not? I figure now is not the time to start putting on "masks."

Wow. I am sure you would just love to hear all the gory details of our meeting, but suffice it to say that I left the meeting physically exhausted and physically ill. Just keepin' it real. I pretty much ended our time feeling like this.

No, she is not just enjoying the sun. She is about to be physically ill. The way I was and still am feeling right now. It's not that anything bad was said. It is just that the information we were presented with was very... well... heavy. It was a lot. It was intense. It was overwhelming. I think I just need a little time to digest it all. To take it in. To gather my strength.

Yes, that is something I'm going to need a lot of because the things we are going to have to do will literally take us back to the very beginning. No short cuts. No copies. No, I already did that. Informational sessions. Home studies. Visits. Clearances. Fingerprints. Training. Profiles. Albums. Not something I am looking forward to. I'm not sure how we ever got through it the first time, so I certainly can't imagine doing it all over again.

It makes it even harder, too, that we are not leaving our current agency. I mean, why would we? We've already invested non-refundable money with them and we still have a long time left on our contract. It is just that we are going to branch out... investigate additional agencies, websites, etc... and perhaps employ them to do what our current agency is already doing. To get our name and profile out for more eyes to see. Who knows. Our baby could end up coming from the agency where we already are. Or it might not. We just believe we need to open ourselves up. Increase our visibility. Pursue every road.

Unfortunately, that will take time. That will take money. That will take strength. That will take faith.

Please continue to pray. You are appreciated more than you know. We didn't get through this the first time without your intercession, and I know we won't get through it now without the same.

Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...


Anonymous said...

Wow...I was overwhelmed reading all of that (esp. redoing everything)! Am glad you're keeping your options open and staying w/the current one, too! You never know what God has in store! He'll keep providing the $, strength and energy to make it through like He already has done!



Stephanie Harbin said...

Keep hanging in there. I think branching out is good. I went through the state and it was relatively easy. Of course, no matter where you go, God will be the one in control and making it happen. I wasn't supposed to have an infant cause I am a working mom. All the sudden they were calling and begging me to take this newborn. Then I got to keep her. Let God work it all out. Let him bless you by giving you a child that couldn't have been yours any other way but through his grace and mercy.

Anonymous said...

I can imagine going through all of that again is going to be overwhelming. Continuing to pray for you!

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