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Saturday, December 19, 2009

Timing...

Sometimes, I often wonder what God's clock looks like. We recently learned that we had finally been matched up with two different birth mothers to have our profile shown. Now, that doesn't really mean anything other than two birth mothers will look at our album along with the albums of other prospective couples who match up as well. Then, the birth mothers decide if they are interested in meeting us or seeing our actual home study.

Goodness, this is a long process. Our contract with the agency is for 30 months, and 12 have passed by so far. That means we potentially have 18 more months to wait. Then, at the end of those 18 months, if a birth mother has not selected us, we will move on to another agency. Of course, we could always look at other agencies in the meantime, but that would cost money (a whole lot of money) and would involve us going through the whole paperwork process we have already done all over again. That doesn't sound like fun to me. Actually, I think I'd rather have all my fingernails ripped out than to go through all that paperwork again! Ahem.

The reason I decided to write about this today in the middle of all the chaos going on in my family life at the moment is twofold.

First, I think I have a little glimpse of why nothing has happened yet. I mean, can you even begin to imagine the last week of my life if we had already received a placement?

*shudder*

Second, I wanted to share with you a video of the home associated with our agency. If you would like to see it, you should click over *here* to visit some friends of ours. It's actually kind of weird for me to watch this video because I've met almost everyone in it, including some of the birth mothers. It seems... well... surreal to me. It makes me emotional. It grabs on to me. I've asked God over and over... why here? why now? why this place? why this agency? I've asked Him, can't we look someplace else? And, every time, He says, no, wait, not yet, or some other version of what I don't really want to hear.

I guess, then, we'll just continue to wait. Gosh, I hate that.

Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...


***Don't forget to pray for someone today!

3 comments:

Rochelle said...

I'm joining you both in praying the prayer that never fails: "Thy Will Be Done." And asking the God of Peace to settle you and wrap you in His peace.

-stephanie- said...

Strength will rise as you wait upon the Lord! Praying.

Liz said...

Congrats on being matched up! That's a start! I agree about God's timing. His time is definitely not ours.

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