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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

A sort of short update...

I just wanted to keep everyone up to date. Part 2 of "Who am I?" will be coming soon ~ sorry for the cliffhanger, but I ended because it really was getting far too long. I wasn't trying to leave everyone in suspense, it just seemed like a good place to stop... :-)

Anyway, for now, DoubleT and I are spending a few days with family. Actually, my mom - sister - and I will be attending a Women of Faith conference while DoubleT and my dad enjoy a little shopping and eating! At least, whatever eating DoubleT can enjoy right now... he is still in quite a bit of pain from his temporary crown. He can't wait to get the permanent one at the end of the month. Maybe then, the nerve will calm down. In the meantime, he fluctuates between happiness (when the pain eases up) and loopiness (from the pain pills the dentist gave him)!!!

Other than that, things are just busy! We have made some progress this week with the adoption process. We sent out forms to those who have agreed to be our references, and now we wait for them to send them back to us. I got copies of our credit report from www.annualcreditreport.com. Yeah for 1 free credit report per year! I think we'll tackle the floor plan of our house with all the exits and fire extinguishers marked. Oh, wait a minute... I don't draw and we don't have a fire extinguisher. Guess we'll have to buy one. :-) This is one of those things that I "understand" the purpose of, but it still kind of irks me. I mean, did ya'll have to go out and buy a fire extinguisher and mark all the fire exits on your house before you were "allowed" to make a baby? OK, enough said.

If you would, I would SO appreciate your prayers right now. I am really hoping to hear from God in a very loud and incredible way this weekend. A very special friend had the courage to confront me this past weekend and kick me a little in the behind. I don't know what it is with people named "Pam, " but this is the second woman with that name who has made a real difference in my life. The first was my mentor, dear friend, and pastor's wife. The second I know through Sunday School, and I must say, she had a lot of guts to hold me accountable and to take the time (literally) to pray with me. I love it when someone doesn't just "say" they are praying for me, but actually does pray with me. Anyway, the most profound and very "on target" thing she said to me was that I am so afraid to really jump out in faith. She said that I am paralyzed with fear and that I am not really trusting God. And, she's right. It's easy to do all the individual little things that must be done before the adoption process can continue, but in reality, if we don't get moving, this will never happen. And, I am scared - I'm scared that we won't have the money, I'm scared that we won't be chosen, I'm scared that we won't be good parents. Or, at least, I won't.

So, pray for me to gain the courage I need to really trust God, not just in what I say, but also in what I do. For us, that will mean actually finishing all the little stuff and doing our homestudy. Pam has even given me a goal of the end of September to have that all (including the homestudy) done. We're going to go for it. But also pray that we will have the funding we need. The homestudy is the first big amount of money we will need. $1,500. All the other little stuff pales in comparison. I know we can come up with some of it, but not all. I guess that's just a small test of faith with the bigger ones to come later in the form of $2,000 to submit our profile, and then $15,000 when we are chosen to receive a child. So, pray for us. Pray often. Pray hard.

Preparing our fields...

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