Icky...

Feeling kind of icky today. Spiritually and emotionally. Physically, I am fine.

Tired of being cooped up inside. So are the dogs. Ben went outside this morning, stuck his nose in the snow ice covered snow and then proceeded to pick off pieces of ice to eat from the edge of the hole he made. He likes ice. So do I. In my drink, not my backyard.

As of last night ~ 7 more pages / 10 more questions DONE. 53 more pages / 99 more questions to GO!

Then, I have to do two exams. Well, I don't have to, but the professor says it will be easier on me later if I do. Yep. That means it is not required, and I will see how things go.

All these adoption situations I hear about are really hard. I saw one this morning on a friends blog. Incarcerated mom. Baby being born early. Lots of problems. Hydrocephalus, will be born blind, cerebral palsy, and much more. It breaks my heart. Pray for this and other babies. Then, another friend's blog. Or, maybe it was an email. Yeah, I think it was an email. A 13 year old girl previously adopted from Eastern Europe, and now the adoptive family wants to find a new home for her. They think she needs to be the youngest or only child in a family. How must she feel to realize that the family who chose her now doesn't want her anymore? I'm not in a position to judge because I do not know all the circumstances of their life, but she must feel abandoned. Honestly, though, the situation doesn't work for us because we want more children later and she is already 13, so she obviously wouldn't be the youngest. Or an only child. Yet, I feel so burdened for each of these children. I wonder... is it okay for us to say no? Are we not trusting God? I just want His will, but I struggle with what that is. I am an all or nothing kind of person. I feel like I must totally trust God or I don't trust Him at all. I don't know that that is exactly right, though, either.

Icky. I feel just icky.

Very behind on my 21 day challenge with Holley. As much as I want to, it is just not a priority right now. I feel bad about that because I like the challenge. Oh, well. I do what I can when I can, and that is all I can do.

Tuesday night, I will be attending a birth mother support group. Looking forward to going with a new and better attitude than before. Pray if there is a connection to be made, that God will orchestrate it. D.T. will be making dessert for me to take because all the adoptive moms are supposed to bring dessert. I wonder if any of the other guys are the ones to make dessert...

The Florida agency would like to have our profile by the 16th. Um... we'll try. If not, then God must not be in it because we have obligations and we are doing the best we can. Praying for supernatural strength.

I am typing from the tub. Goldie just walked in and then walked back out. Wonder what she is doing out there...

D.T. is downstairs making chiftele and later wings. I am glad he likes to cook so much. I must have lost my mind. I just used D.T.'s real name and then saw it as I was reading it over. Time to pay attention, C.C.! Time to pay attention!

Next on the agenda... some time with God. After that... questions and more questions. Yuck.

Thanks for being my friends and for listening.

9 days until my intensive.

I am starting to really like this kind of blogging. You know. Just dumping everything out of my brain. It feels good. Gives me a fresh start. :-)

Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...