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Wednesday, January 13, 2010

What our child will be like... Part 2.

Alternately titled:

We are really good at talking out
both sides of our mouths.


OR...

I trust You, God, but...

OR...

I digress. Wow, it's pretty bad when I start out digressing this early in the morning.

God spoke to me this morning. Out of the Psalms, nonetheless. I'm surprised by that. I don't usually get huge wake up calls from the Psalms. It's not that David was a bad writer or anything. After all, he was a man after God's own heart. Pretty good thing to live up to. It's just that, sometimes, I find him kind of... um... well.... whiny. Digressing again.

So, God spoke to me this morning through the Psalms. Directly. Based on the questions I was contemplating yesterday. He said...

How dare you tell me,
"Flee to the mountains for safety,"
when I am trusting in the Lord?


Did you catch that? How dare you (a child acceptance form, an inanimate object with no power in God's eyes whatsoever) tell me I must make a futile effort to protect myself when I am trusting in the LORD, (Jehovah!) the one who goes ahead of me, who will be with me, who will not fail or forsake me. Why, then, should I fear or be dismayed?

Then, I wondered: How dare who tell me...?

So, I went back to the verse just before which I should have read yesterday, except I didn't because I didn't have time. Ahem. Have you ever done that? Come on. Tell me I'm not alone.

*head hangs in shame*

Anywho.

Then, I went to the Psalms from yesterday, and it ended with this:

You will be with the orphans
and all who are oppressed,
so that mere earthly man
will terrify them no longer.

Seriously? I mean, exactly how many times are orphans talked about in Psalms? So, I looked it up. Guess how many times. Just guess. TWO! Two times! The first one is just 4 verses earlier, and refers to the orphan as the helpless.

I am just amazed at how direct God is when we ask.

Well, I chatted with D.T. a little about the things God said to me, and the conversation went a little like this:

Me to D.T.:
Would you be willing to open up our child acceptance form?
I mean, like totally open up our child acceptance form?

D.T. to me:
I don't think I could handle....
blah, blah, blah, something, whatever.

Me to D.T.: Ok.

Me to God:
Ok, God. I think D.T. and I need to be on the same page here,
so help me know what you want me to do.

Conversation continues later.


D.T. to me:
Did you have a verse? Do you want to read it to me?
(I had my Bible with me at the time)

Me to God:
Thanks!

I read the two verses

Me to D.T.:
So what do you get from that?

D.T. to me:
God will care for the orphan.
We should not be afraid or try to protect ourselves.
God will protect us.

Conversation continues.

Conclusion: We have been trying to protect ourselves. We say we trust God, but really we don't. Only to a point. We are pretty good at talking out of both sides of our mouth like that. The reason we have not been matched, selected, or received a placement yet is not because of the number of adoptions being done with our agency, the fact that I have MS, or that our dogs live inside the house. The reason we have not been matched, selected, or received a placement is because we are disobedient to God. We do not trust Him. We trust ourselves, and He's been waiting for us to get it right.

We must open up our child acceptance form. Not in part. Completely. COMPLETELY. C.O.M.P.L.E.T.E.L.Y! No, I can't handle this or that. No, but I don't identify with that type of baby. No, that would be too difficult.

We either trust God with everything, or we trust Him with nothing at all.

You know, I think every potential adoptive parent has their idea of what the perfect baby will be like. It's kind of like the childhood toy Mr. Potato Head. I'll take these eyes, and that arm. I'll put a smile or a frown on his face. I like those feet.

Unfortunately, it's not that way.

God is the creator of each and every child. He is the creator of us. He loves us and knows what is best for us.

So, who better to trust with our lives?

I am not saying that we will end up with a two-headed baby of a different race, with a mental disease, cerebral palsy, exposed to drugs, and born with a cleft palate. We might... or we might not. Well, maybe not a two-headed baby. After I wrote that, my sister said that we might want to pass on a two-headed baby. LOL! :-) It simply is not for us to decide, and I believe God has been waiting for us to give Him control. I believe that, regardless of what baby He selects for us, this will be evidence to Him that we have completely surrendered our lives into His hands.

I will admit, however, that scares me to death. I guess I would not be human if it did not.

We will definitely continue to pray about this, and to talk it out with our case workers. We want to do God's will. Nothing more and nothing less.

No temptation has seized you
except what is common to man.
And God is faithful;
He will not let you be tempted
beyond what you can bear.
But when you are tempted,
H
e will also provide a way out
so that you can stand up under it.
1 Corinthians 10:13

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

Oh, and on a totally unrelated note, I AM SO EXCITED!!! My brother-in-law, D.T.'s brother, got a Visa to come visit us this spring! Yay!!! :-)

~left to right~
Nicu (D.T.'s brother), D.T., Mamica (D.T.'s mom),
Luci & Mari (D.T.'s sisters)!

If you missed Part 1 of this topic, click here to go back!

7 comments:

He & Me + 3 said...

Wow isn't God great in that way. I pray that all goes well when you decide to open yourselves up completely. Sometimes it is only a test to see if we really do trust.
Hugs,
Mimi

- Mommy2Boyz- said...

Ouch ... "We either trust God with everything, or we trust Him with nothing at all." EXTREMELY thought-provoking for me!!

God will honor your obedience to Him...He always does and in ways we never expect! Thanks for sharing this journey with us!

Jill said...

This post has brought a tear to my eye. I'm excited that God spoke to you in such a clear way. :)

-stephanie- said...

I love this post!!! It is so cool to see how God is bringing you through this. 2 heads....= TWINS! :o)

Anonymous said...

I am trying to write this in an appropriate way - while God wants us to trust Him, He also trusts us to use our God given judgement and common sense and He will give us direction, and this can also come through our husbands wisdom. The child acceptance form - please be certain that you are both comfortable with any changes you may make.

Please don't take my comments the wrong way. I have been reading your blog for a while. My husband and I are currently in the waiting mode for an adoption. I have someone in my family with MS. My husband and I went through the form and it's hard to say you will or will not consider certain things. And, I know that you never know the future health of a child, whether birth or adopted. You just don't know. But you don't want to act out of desperation and wind up in a situation that is difficult. And, I know God helps us when we get in those situations, even though we have ignored the red flags and pursued not His Will but our own. Believe me, I know this very well!!

I normally never leave comments on blogs and I'm not really sure why I am doing this, but for some reason I feel compelled.

Take care and I will be praying for you.

Gale

PS. We also have a jackabee. Pepper says hello. I totally enjoy your dogs' pictures.

PPS. Oh, I just remembered - one of my brother in laws is from Romania.

Liz said...

My boss has a daughter with Spina Bifida. She once told me that God never gives you more than you can handle. I truly believe that! Be trusting of that!

Mocha Momma said...

Wow, you certainly heard from the Lord! That is awesome. I can understand any fear that you would have. I do pray that you will really have a peace about this.

Nannette

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