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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Points in time...

Many years ago, I loved the movie Somewhere in Time, starring Jane Seymour and Christopher Reeve.

It was such a classic love story set in a beautiful time and place, with just a little bit of a twist. Sometimes, I feel like my life is somewhat like this movie in that I don't know whether I want to go back to my past or move on to my future.

Really, it is the epitome of an oxymoron.

I do find, though, that there have been certain well-defined points in time throughout my life. Perhaps we could categorize them psychologically like Freud's psychosexual stages or Erikson's psychosocial stages of human development.

Ahem. Excuse me. I think I've been reading one too many psychology books as of late.

Where was I? Oh, yeah. Points in time.

Of course, there were my younger years, defined by going to school, going out with my friends, going to piano lessons, going to church. The going, going, going stage.

Then, there was my time in college and early marriage. Those two times kind of blur together for me and then fade right into the being diagnosed with MS time of my life. You can call this my learning who I am and what it means to make it through trials in life stage.

After that, came my learning how to surrender to Jesus, as LORD time. I learned a lot in this stage of my life from two people who genuinely modeled Christ and stretched me to get out of my comfort zone. You can call this my getting kicked in the seat of the pants stage. Oddly enough, this is the stage I look upon with the most fondness. I know. I'm weird.

Right now, I am in this funky in-between time in life. I'm no longer in my 20's. Everyone around me has babies, toddlers, or school-aged children. Baby showers are over, for the most part. Thank goodness for that. Now, people are going to dance lessons and soccer games, and I'm still sitting on the sidelines waiting for a baby to make his or her appearance. I'm still attending birth mother support groups. I'm still getting emails with pictures from recent adoption placement celebrations for other families at our agency.

Other families.

Sometimes, I wonder how long it will be between the time God promised and the time it is fulfilled. A friend recently reminded me that Abraham waited 25 years from the time God promised until his son Isaac was actually born, when Abraham was 100! Um, I get the point, but it's not a very encouraging one. I don't want to wait that long.

D.T. and I had a conversation about this the other day, and I realized for the first time that this stage of life is really getting to him, too. We did both agree, though, that we enjoy the times we have been able to spend together, just the two of us. However, at the same time, we're tired of waiting, ready to move on, and frustrated that other people are moving on ahead of us.

I don't know why, but I feel I must apologize for saying this all again. It just gets to me every once in a while, and this is my place to virtually spew it all out so I don't literally spew it all out to the people around me in real life ~ 'cause that would be mean... and messy.

Thanks for listening. Now, go get a towel and wipe yourselves off.

Living in His JOY, HOPE, and PEACE...


***Don't forget to pray for someone today!

1 comment:

Sheryl said...

oh!! thank you for sharing openly and from your heart. i haven't been blogging because i am in "one of those places". i'm not satsified with where i am and i'm waiting for what's next. wonder what i'm missing while i wait...hmmm

anyway, i just wanted to thank you for being real and it gives us specifics of how to be praying for you guys.

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